


"So I decided to date this firehose dicked vocalist stop judgeing me Namjoon"

by PrussiaSheiala



Series: Prussias 2019 120 hour Kpop challenge [1]
Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Frenemies, Jaebum is bad at Feelings as well, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga is Bad at Feelings, Wacky High jinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 09:36:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20329006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrussiaSheiala/pseuds/PrussiaSheiala
Summary: After Jaebum accidentally commented on Yoongi's height, the two started a game of insulting each other each time they saw each other.Then alcohol happened, and everybody else was getting dicked down, so the two decided to dick each other down, and maybe date as well.





	"So I decided to date this firehose dicked vocalist stop judgeing me Namjoon"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aztecxinchu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aztecxinchu/gifts).

> Welcome to story 1 of my 48 hour challenge for myself! The goal is to write as many different kpop stories as possible, some will be medium lengeth like this one, some might be shorter!

The kpop world was very tiny when you thought about it, in some way or another… everybody kinda knew each other, and if they didn't know each other personally, at least one of their members had to know somebody from the others group.

That is how they met, babysitting Yugyeom and Jungkook on one of their dates, there to make sure that the maknaes didn't land themselves in a scandal getting caught making out in public. Namjoon, Jackson and Mark already toed that line enough. Neither Got7 nor BTS really needed a dating scandal.

So babysitting it were.

It hadn't been a great start.

Jaebum hadn't meant to insult Yoongi, it just happened by accident. They sat in the bowling alleys bar, watching over the two maknae's playing. That was when Yoogni felt Jaebum's eyes on him, he couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes at the Got7 leader "what's the issue? You never saw a rapper with skill before?"

So okay, maybe Yoongi had woken up a bit on the wrong side of the bed, he had worked all night, gotten banned from having more energy drink by Seokjin and then walked in on the NamMarkSon threesome in full fucking mode, which that would put anybody off the idea of being alive. So yes, he decided in his opening line to another group's leader, go with a diss towards their rapline, a rapline where two-thirds were actively dicking down Yoongi's own leader. It was complicated.

"No, it's just… you aren't that short."

Okay, so Yoongi had accepted a lot of things about himself, but he could really feel his forehead vein growing as Jaebum let out that sentence. He hated when people pointed out anything about his height "excuse you what?"

"You always seem too tiny and fragile on stage, like you are still very skinny, but you aren't that short, you are about the same height as Jackson. I was just surprised." he tried for a sweet smile to calm down the aggression he was feeling from Yoongi.

The sad truth was that Jaebum had really just caught Yoong at a bad time, but when Yoon gi wanted to whip somebody verbally he was gonna goddamn commit to it "I am surprised you can manage to put together sentences, you brain always seems so tiny and fragile while on stage." proud of his burn that was nowhere near true he turned his attention back to the two maknaes.

"What?"

"I am sorry?"

"That's okay, I was…" Jaebum never finished his sentence as Yoongi picked up the rest of his own sentence.

"I shouldn't speak with so fast, your brain is clearly struggeling to pick up what is going on, I will speak slower next time."

"I… "Jaebum just stared at Yoongi, trying to understand what was going on in front of him, opening and closing his mouth, trying to make his brain work, instead just settling for a confused look "rude."

"But true, they seem to be done now, let's see if they will free me from this hell hole." Yoongi was up and leaving Jaebum behind, hearing a light confused "Sorry?" 

Yoongi did feel bad about later, of course, he did, he knew that he had acted like a dick, but he also refused to back down on his words. Jaebum had called him tiny! That was not okay! Just cause he was slightly vertically challenged did not mean that it was okay to treat him like that! He deserved better!

That was kinda how it started, neither were sure which one of them kept it going, cause it was so out of character for both of them, but from there on out, they would always insult each other when they met. They never ended up going as hard on insults as they did… well Yoongi did, that first time, just short silly insults that made no sense.

In the start the rest of their group was worried about them, Namjoon even sat Yoongi down, worried that he was having some real issues with Jaebum, but Yoongi just waved him off. It wasn't like they actually hated each other. They just… liked to insult each other.

It went on for a while, almost 6 months before it got a new development, it started how all good life choices started, in the bottom of a bottle. It was an after part for some kind of an award show, while all awards they or Army won was special to Yoongi, award shows all kinda started to blend together. It had music, it was in Korea, and a lot of different groups were there.

All he remembered was crying, Namjoon held a speech, and now they were at an exclusive after-party for only Gen3 groups, everything was going down, people were grinding on each other, there was definitely gonna be bodily fluids on the ground.

Yoongi honestly had never seen Namjoon move like that before, but it turned out that all he needed to learn how to actually dance was to have Mark and Jackson grind on him, Seokjin had found himself a new place with Mamamoo and Jimin was doing unholy things to Jongin and Taemin right there in front of Yoongi's salad, which was rude, and impressive, all of them were so… bendable.

Jaebum threw himself down next to Yoongi on the couch "Hey smurf face." the greeting goes the instant no hesitation answer from Yoongi "Sup club foot."

"Not much, I just found out that 'giving tips on acting, includes showing somebody how to deep throat a dick. So that is a thing, also, never wanna see Jinyoung's O-face again, that was scary, this is what I get out for just wanting to take a leak. You should teach your children how to lock the door." He threw an arm around Yoongi, look over the sins going on around them.

"Taehyung?"

"Yup."

"And Jinyoung?"

"Exactly."

"Didn't see that coming, who has the betting pool on that?"

"Chayoung, I swear that girl has powers that nobody else does." yeah, they bet on who they thought their group mates were gonna fuck, that was a completely normal thing to do.

Jaebum leaned back in the couch staring at the ceiling "Why is everybody but me getting laid? Life is unfair, I am hot!"

"Whatever you say troll face, you just have to you know… go into the dance floor and put in an effort." Yoongi could understand where he was coming from tho, it was unfair. Even Namjoon was getting late, and he was like the most socially awkward person he knew.

"But I don't want to put in an effort! I just wanna get laid, I just wanna lie back and just get fucked, is that really too much to ask."

"I get it, my dude. Effort sucks."

"You could fuck me?"

Both just stared at each other for a second, before Jaebum quickly added: "just as frenemies, of course, no feelings, that would be gay."

Yoongi thought it over for a second, on the upside, he would get laid, and Jaebum was a decently good looker, on the downside he would clearly have to top, and that was a lot of work.

"Do I have to top?" he was already exhausted at the meer thought "you were the one who made fun of my size, so shouldn't you be the one to top?" 

"I already know you are packing, "he sighed deeply "okay if I ride you can we then agree on it?"

Yoongi just shrugged, that sounded good.

They were both still pretty drunk when they managed to make it to somebodies hotel room, Yoongi wasn't really that sure which hotel room it was, he just knew that it was a hotel room one of them had the keys to and it had a bed.

The cloth was going everywhere, Yoongi was pretty sure that his trousers were left outside the hotel room and his pants over a lamp. Neither wanted to admit it, but it had been building up to it for a while, and now that the floodgates had opened they couldn't wait to get hands on each other.

Jaebum pushed a naked Yoongi down on the bed "Condoms and lube?"

"What? This is your room?" Yoongi was busy feeling up Jaebum's solid thighs, damn the leader was in shape, he was Yoongi approved.

"Nah bro this is not my room? I had a plushie in my bed, this bed is very plushie free!" Jaebum had placed himself in Yoongi's lap grinding their two cocks together "now where do you hide your lube, and you are not barebacking me."

"Dude! I mean it!" he couldn't hold back a moan "this is not my room!"

For the first time both look around, and then they realised at the same time what room they were in, they were in Namjoon, Mark and Jackson's shared room. They exchanged looks, and both said at the same time "we gotta have to get cum all over this bed." It was called revenge, cause the three rappers really liked to fuck everywhere, and they didn't seem to realise that other humans did not find their bodily fluids to be acceptable everywhere.

"Check under the pillow, those fuckers have to keep lube somewhere, and none of them is dumb enough to fuck bareback even if they love each other."

Jaebum was right, lube was found under the pillow, same with condoms. Pre-work was quick and dirty, Yoongi's got to show Jaebum exactly what he could do with long fingers, what he could do was make Jaebum scream out his name. When they both deemed Jaebum ready, it was time for Yoongi to just lean back and enjoy the view.

"Can you at least pretend that you aren't just gonna starfish?" Jaebum was panting while sinking down on Yoongi's length. Yoongi to his had folded his arms behind his head just smirking up at the Got7 leader.

"No, now get riding little cowgirl."

"I am much taller than you, fish face."

"Whatever you say Little Moo." 

"God I hate you." they were still biggering as Jaebum sped up his riding, neither could keep moans from escaping them, but honestly neither really tried, they had nothing to be ashamed of.

In the end, Yoongi couldn't keep up not doing anything, getting a good grip on Jaebum's hip with one hand helping him ride, and using the other to start jerking him off, "fuck I am gonna cum already, fuck this is not how alcohol is supposed to work."

"Remember where the aim." Yoongi couldn't stop from teasing, but he could feel it himself. Jaebum just looked too good on top of him, it was hard to hold it in.

"You are the one holding my dick! You aim it where it's supposed to go!"

"Didn't know your dick was a firehose, does explain a lot of things."

"Shut up shut up, shut up!" it seemed more like begging and much more like he didn't actually mean it.

Oh, so that was a fun new thing "don't worry, I will aim your fire hose dick onto the duvet." 

"FUCK!" the next second, said dick was spraying cum from it like it's life depended on it, luckily Yoongi had expected it and managed to aim most of it onto the duvet before giving in to his body need of filling the condom with his own cum. So Jaebum's O-face was way too attractive, who thought that was okay?

Jaebum's legs were unstable as he climbed off Yoongi, helping the rapper dispose of the condom before throwing himself next to him "fuck I have an insult kink, don't I?"

"Yeah" Yoongi grinned staring up at the ceiling.

"This was a little gay right?"

Another Yeah from Yoongi.

"So pick me up tomorrow, and we catch dinner and watch a movie?"

"Sounds good."

Boyfriends who were sweet to each other was so 2018, turned out Yoongi wanted a boyfriend who could insult him and ride his dick like his life depended on it.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any requests, either a specific prompt or just a pairing you would like to see, feel free to send it!
> 
> If you want to chat or just see what stupid stuff I got myself stuck in this time here:  
[My writing twitter](https://twitter.com/PrussiaSheiala)  
[ My Kpop YouTube / Last Week Kpop News ](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv_HrTXOP68zP0ZtXASF1zw?view_as=subscriber)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/LadyPrussia)


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